Cornucopia Coloring Books.

“Thanksgiving is around the corner. What are you thankful for?”

My first grade self sighs at Miss Talbert’s over-enthusiasm for such a trivial holiday. Really? A day based solely upon gluttonous behavior? I recite back to her the words my Sunday school teacher had repeated nearly thirty times that past Sunday. “I’m thankful that Jesus died for my sins.” She smiles and claps vigorously. This was her first year teaching, and though her sickeningly sweet perfume came off of her in waves, we could still smell her fear of failure. The kids had yet to break her excitement to ‘teach about the holidays’. I honestly didn’t know what I was so much more grateful for today than any other day. I liked my parents. Though my cat would scratch me whenever I came into contact with her, I had a pet. It didn’t seem any different except for the fact that we were coloring Cornucopias instead of doing simple math.

To this day, after ten more years to contemplate the meaning of Thanksgiving, I still draw a blank. When asked “Talia, what are you thankful for?” I still give the generic answer like “Family.” Everyone claps or nods, I sit down, and life goes on. 

There’s so much more I want to say though. I’m thankful for…

• The slipcover on hot pockets, so you don’t burn your hand.
• 80s Hair Bands
• The eggs you crack and find two yolks in.
• Dr.Seuss books.
• The little plastic thing in swimsuit bottoms for when you try them on.
• The snooze button.
• The satisfying crunch of Pringles.
• That pair of jeans that makes your butt look awesome.
• Pizza Delivery.
• The stress-relieving effects of bubble wrap.
• Hello Kitty band-aids.
• That the seats on an airplane can be used as a flotation device. 
• Snow days.
• Laughing so hard that you have to check if you peed a little.
• Christian Bale’s Batman voice.

I could continue writing these until the sun spontaneously combusts, but it would be unnecessary. I am grateful for all the little things of life. Appreciation should not be exclusive to the one day the federal government deems. Its continuous. Every day. 

Say “Thanks!” to the person that hold the door for you on their way out.

Smile at the cashier making your Pumpkin Spice Latte rather than grumbling about the exorbitant amount you have to pay for it.

When you’re walking down the street and you and an oncoming person try to dodge each other and go the same way… twice… laugh and say “Oh my god! We must be telepathically connected!” 

Whatever you do, do it with love. Love your world, the people in it, and even the carved turkey on your table. Be grateful for every day, every second, every breath.

Happy Thanksgiving to my lovely audience <3

Appendix Girl.

It always makes me giggle when guys tell me “You have my heart.”

I restrain myself from rolling my eyes. I get that weird feeling when you’re accidentally seated in first class rather than economy. Will someone please downgrade me so that all is right with the world again?

Your heart? Really? Can’t I just have your kidney or spleen or something, I mean, your heart is one of the got-to-have necessary organs. I’m not really a serious, life-or-death relationship kind of girl. On most occasions cat-and-string theory has me goddamn pinned. There was one exception, but that ended badly. Maybe he had realized that I’m really worth nothing more than an appendix. I can be your appendix girl. 

You see, the appendix is a ticking time bomb. It has no benefit, and then will eventually screw you over. Appendix removal is easy. A heart… Well that’s a different story. 

<3

Skydiver.

Does anyone else have those days when you’re just so exhausted that you sleep all day and wake up around six or seven? You’re sense of time is off and you feel incredibly groggy. You spend the rest of your night doing some inane tasks and being unproductive. Your head feels so heavy and your feet are dragging… and you can’t stop thinking about that one person. What are they doing right now. What are they thinking about. Where is this going. 

I always wonder if other people question intentions as much as I do. I’m always searching my crystal ball for signs that things are going to end badly. Normally I don’t put myself into any situation that includes me taking a risk, both emotionally and physically. Now I know why. Taking risks usually come with consequences. Whether it’s a broken wrist or a broken heart, each comes with their own sense of pain. I don’t gamble or roll the dice. I mean, what is the thrill there? Is the adrenaline rush worth the possible outcome? The jackpot is never worth what you may lose.

Skydivers. Why in the world would you jump out of a metal tube in the sky so that (hopefully) a piece of cloth can save you from plummeting to Earth. Sounds like SO much fun. Not. The risk is very obvious, you risk your physical well-being. We’ve grown far too comfortable with taking emotional risks. We place all of our hopes for the future into one person just like eggs into a basket. 

“Heartbreak (noun): grief: intense sorrow; overwhelming distress”

Intense sorrow. Intense. That sounds incredibly risky to me. How has this become a normal occurrence in our society? A part of ‘growing up’? That’s like skydiving with your mental health, fully aware that your parachute is faulty. 

…So when does it become worth the risk? A favorite quotation of mine, “Save your heart for someone that’s worth dying for.” When you can plummet through the open air and not worry about that piece of fabric that may or may not save your from the ground below, that’s when it’s worth it. When everything takes a backseat, including yourself, to put this person first. When it’s six or seven in the evening and all that’s on your mind is them.

Sometimes, you have to roll the dice. 

Remember.

Why are we wired in such a way that our memories never come out as neutral? You either look back in a positive or a negative manner. Sometimes we become enamored with our past and refuse to look ahead to the future, or ignore what is standing in front of us, the present. 

It becomes so easy to lose sense of reality when things are less than wonderful in your current life. You drift back into a better time, when the situation was more manageable or that person was less callous. You warp time to create a ‘safety zone’ for your mind to go into when things are a bit overwhelming. But what if the lines begin to blur between reality and memory? You’re drifting away from your cozy little living room until you’re on the back porch stargazing in the middle of August. 

No matter how hard we may wish, we are condemned to the present. We have to keep pushing forward, and though its okay to occasionally glance back, do not walk backwards and leave yourself blind to the future. Letting go of the past is beyond difficult, because we don’t want to let go of those people or places that we’ve come to love, but if they really loved you back…

they would be in your present.